‘’Momma?’’ Nadia’s voice shook.
‘’Where’s mama?’’ Bellamy, her baby sister, asked.
Nadia looked through the slits in the box, but a large stack of hay obstructed her view.
Screams were then heard at the far end of the barn.
‘’What’s wrong with mama?’’ Bellamy asked.
‘’I dunno.’’ Nadia said.
The screams stopped for a moment, the silence brief. When the shouting started up again, Nadia and Bellamy covered their ears, hiding from the blood curdling screams.
‘’NO! STOP! YOU’RE HURTING ME! YOU’RE HUR—-’’ Mother begged.
‘’Shut up. Bitch. Do what I tell you to do. Bend over.’’ The man said.
‘’Stop! STOP! Ow, ow, ow!’’ She cried.
Nadia trapped and unable to save her mother,was forced to sit there and listen to her cry for help. One last scream was heard, a thud, and then silence. Nadia turned her head to listen for any sign of her mother, but nothing.
‘’Momma,’’ Nadia began to cry, ‘’Momma are you there? Momma! Answer me please,’’ her voice grew weary, ‘’Mo…muh?’’
Her chest tightened, and her eyes swollen with tears. Her head throbbed from the strain. She looked down at her sister, not knowing what to say. She wrapped her arm around Bellamy, pulling her close.
Nadia felt a warm and sticky puddle where they sat. Unable to tell what it was, she dabbed her finger in it and brought it to her nose. It smelled of iron, stale water and cedar. The texture was thick. She licked her finger. As it hit her taste buds, a light shone into the wooden box, revealing their father’s body.
Wow! It’s good. The third line chilled me to the bone. Your snippet left me with a lot of questions and wanting more, which is good. I can’t wait to read the next one.
You did great building the suspense!Simply Sarah
Yeay!! Get more entries coming!!! 😀 😀
You build suspense gracefully, yet forcefully. Brutal blatancy mixed with primal fight or flight… No nudging the reader toward a concept in this entry. You force the atrocity upon the reader with a crucial realness the subject demands. I admired how it was written and hated the subject matter. To invoke dual emotions of such strength, is such an admirable skill. I cannot wait for another entry!! Great work!!
Wow, Thank you Stephen 😉 I’ve to say that is the biggest flattering comment I’ve received so far. You sound torn between wanting to read more and escaping it. 😉 I hope you will continue for sure. I’d love to hear more of what you have to say and how you feel.
Again, thank you so much for taking the time to write this.
wow this is so suspense filled, can’t wait to read the next entry:)
Haha I’m happy to hear that girly. 😉